Letter to my Satan

The screaming, the silence after

The pain, the numbness after

It’s been over 10 years

I remember you still

I wonder, how many others did you kill?

You killed me, my mom and dad

All my friends too

How many more souls will you claim?

How long did you think I would stay silent?

I have not met you ever since

You do visit me in my dreams sometimes.

It used to be scary – made me rise in fits or anxiety attacks

But now I don’t even wince

Do you ever think about me?

Do you have any regrets at all?

I used to think of ending my life

But I am still here, alive and well

I want you to know that I forgave everything

We all suffer don’t we?

We make mistakes because of the pain we endure

I wonder where you are

Now the dreams seem strange

You never even say hello

I just see myself running away, smiling and laughing

I guess that’s just a sign

I have moved on with my life

Surrounding myself with loved ones

A couple of true, warm and honest friends –

That’s all I ever needed

Have you found what keeps you happy?

I hope you will stop preying on innocent lives

I hope you find help, just like I did

We don’t get to choose the kind of life we are dealt

But we can choose what we do with it

I hope you will make the right decision

There’s always hope in this world

It only gets better

I will be praying for you

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